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Maybe we aren't the right home for her :-(

This is a place to gain some understanding of dog behavior and to assist people in training their dogs and dealing with common behavior problems, regardless of the method(s) used. This can cover the spectrum from non-aversive to traditional methods of dog training. There are many ways to train a dog. Please avoid aggressive responses, and counter ideas and opinions with which you don't agree with friendly and helpful advice. Please refrain from submitting posts that promote off-topic discussions. Keep in mind that you may be receiving advice from other dog owners and lovers... not professionals. If you have a major problem, always seek the advice of a trainer or behaviorist!

  
(Page 3 of 9: Viewing entries 21 to 30)  
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Opheila

It ain't over- till the fat- kitty sings		 
 
Barked: Mon Feb 4, '13 7:45pm PST 
Sigh, after reading everyones input yeah you have to ultimately go with your heart. Like Tiller said about getting dogs from a kill shelter being quite different...then of course we're willing to deal with alot more because we know what any other outcome will be. But knowing that the rescue will rehome your girl if you feel that's the best choice is helpful. Maybe there is another dog out there that is exactly a good fit for you from day one. Best of luck whatever your choicelittle angel
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Josie

1284059		 
 
Barked: Mon Feb 4, '13 9:36pm PST 
She was in her crate for 1 hour tonight while I went to do a quick pet sit. Just watched the video. She barked (that's new), whined, panted, scratched, and peed. Don't think we can handle this. And I feel horrible about that.
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Sara

Live life to the- fullest		 
 
Barked: Mon Feb 4, '13 10:23pm PST 
To be honest you may not be the people for her, but you need to think if you're really ready to open your home to any dog right now. Your schedules sound rough and cats are normally more independent than a dog. I never had a dog while I was working as my job as a scientist required many hours, could be very irregular and left me worn out often. I took my neighbor's dog who was an old dog with health problems, and she and I took more than two weeks to figure out our roles and that was with me being home most of the day. Well, we were a great match, but I found out her calmness and good manners were more from her health problems even though she had a great personality. She had to be euthanized in a little over a year due to cancer, heart, etc., which left me really wanting another dog. My next choice was a puppy, which really makes you question your decision, but we made it through puppyhood and she is now a wonderful dog and pal. But it did not happen on it's own. It took a lot of time and patience (which sometimes failed me) and teaching, but it was so worth it. I had to learn to never step back without looking because my pal follows me everywhere. I had to learn to go outside on very cold or rainy nights and not get impatient while we found the perfect spot, but, again, it was worth it. Hopefully I will have my bud for many years. But, if you take this dog back, be honest about your job demands and that it maybe wasn't really the best choice at this time in your life, so as to not impact her ability for another adoption. At an adoption event you can get too exited and not weigh the demands on bringing a dog into your home and life.
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Member Since
12/02/2012		 
 
Barked: Mon Feb 4, '13 10:42pm PST 
Josie has been with you for a week yet right? And it's a two-week trial with your dog. You say she's been whining, scratching, panting and peeing and that you can't handle these things. If the two weeks are up and she still doesn't seem happy, then maybe you aren't the right people for her as Sara put it.
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Rexy

I dig in mud- puddles!		 
 
Barked: Mon Feb 4, '13 10:45pm PST 
There's nothing wrong with admitting that a dog isn't the right fit for your family. If anything, that requires a fair amount of honesty, insight, and a good dab of courage. hug

Not everyone is able or willing to handle a project dog, and that's okay.

Now you also have a better idea of what you can and can't handle for your next dog and can specify on adoption paperwork that you aren't willing to deal with separation anxiety (and there is absolutely nothing wrong with putting that on there).

I wouldn't necessarily say that you aren't ready for a dog at this point, it just sounds like you aren't able to deal with significant behavioural issues.
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MIKA&KAI

Akita Pals- Always.
 
 
Barked: Mon Feb 4, '13 10:54pm PST 
I think you have answered your own question. You have said you can't afford a behaviorist but you seem to feel Josie needs one,and you don't think you are up to dealing with her issues,so realistically,you can't meet her needs. There is no reason to feel bad or guilty about that,you did take her on a trial basis. You tried,and you have learned that it simply will not work out for you. As another poster mentioned,you might want to really think about what it is you want and expect from a dog and wether or not your current situation really allows for a dog at all. Sometimes as much as we might want one,the timing in a given situation is just not right. There is no shame in that. By realizing now and returning Josie to the rescue now along with some notes on what you have learned about her during her time with you,the rescue will be able to either place her in a foster home where they can work with her issues,or place her with someone more equipped to handle them. Thank-you for trying and for realizing that your home might not be the home she needed,so that she can find the one that is the right home.wishes to you on finding the dog that is right for you when the time is right.
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Ezra

1241819		 
 
Barked: Tue Feb 5, '13 5:31am PST 
It sounds like your schedule is irregular, but you are home a lot of hours of the day, which hours just changes, right? I don't think you necessarily have to decide not to get a dog now. If you still want a dog, I'd look in to rescues that foster, and come up with a long list of questions to ask the foster parents. If they can't answer the questions (such as, what is this dog's reaction to a running cat inside the home? What is this dog's reaction to a running cat outside the home? what is this dog's reaction to being left in a crate with no other dogs around? what is this dog's reaction to being left in a house not in a crate?), or if they give vague answers that are the same for all the dogs they may be fostering, skip them, and look elsewhere. If you need specific things in a dog, that's not bad. It just may take some time to find the right dog.
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Lenny

Lenny -The- Wrecking Ball		 
 
Barked: Tue Feb 5, '13 10:33am PST 
I guess I was misunderstanding your reasons for feeling Josie wasn't in the right home, not necessarily because she wasn't interested in you or not bonding but more so because of her what seems to separation anxiety. I agree with M&K, it seems you've answered your own question (as we usually must do in terms of what we can handle). If you know separation anxiety is something you cannot deal with due to lack of resources or schedules, then I agree your instinct is right that you may not be right for her. Some people take a project dog and embrace it, and others look at it honestly and like Rexy said, with courage, admit they just took on a little too much.

I wish you the best of luck in finding the right dog when the timing is right, and that Josie soon finds her forever home too. hug
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Rusty

Champion PPH		 
 
Barked: Tue Feb 5, '13 11:40am PST 
I get it. Dahlia was a bit of a nut case, but I waded through it and she was my heart dog. Very few people could've handled her attitude or her health issues. I didn't know any better at the time and just accepted her for what she was. We had a good run together.

After she passed, I wanted a break. I wanted a healthy, social dog that liked other dogs, children, etc. I wanted one that was more velcro than she and had no eye issues. The first rescue I went to was made aware that I wanted a "turn key" dog for the most part. What do they try to pawn off on me? Eddy......no eye contact, tried to attack any dog walking by, and didn't want to be touched. "Foster him for a while!" No, I was not going down that road, and they wouldn't give me ANY dog.

I found Rusty and he is, for the most part, exactly what I wanted. If the dog is not a good fit, then be honest with yourself & the dog. There is a good home for him somewhere, with the right dynamics. No matter how good your intentions, sometimes it's just not a good match.
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Josie

1284059		 
 
Barked: Tue Feb 5, '13 4:15pm PST 
Thank you all. Yeah, there are many days when we are home a lot. Some days I'm home, then gone, then home, then gone. It's not that we don't have time for a dog, it's that ours schedules are unpredictable which makes it hard to work a "project dog." I was very careful in my search and looked for a fostered dog. I don't know why I took a chance on a dog that was kenneled with other dogs. I know now that I need a fostered dog, although it's hard to find a dog that is fostered solo. Usually they are fostered with resident dogs or other fosters. Sigh.

We can try drugs, or we can take her back to the rescue on Saturday. Right now she has her head in my lap and I'm telling her we will all try to do what is best for her and she doesn't have to worry about anything. Sweet girl.

My first cat was a project cat. I got him in college. Wow was he terrible most of the time. He was barely ever even somewhat nice until he turned 3. But I loved him so dearly!!! My last dog I remember not feeling bonded with him for a while. He even bit me once in the beginning when I reached for his bone. But it wasn't vicious and didn't draw blood, and he turned out to be such a sweet sweet boy who never ever did anything like that again the rest of his life.
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